Tears of a Dead man by Mide Benedict; Episode 6

Continued from episode 5  

‘Your love wasn’t dead, even after you died, I cried and cried over you, I even wanted to die but Father consoled me.’

‘Yes, I bet he did and that was why when I came back to life and also out of detention, you went straight to Tony’s arms and went ahead with your love affair; that showed me how much love was still in there for me. Trust that really showed how much you cared.’

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‘I didn’t have a hand in your death, John. Trust me, I didn’t do it.’ She said, some hours after a verdict was given in court with sweat all gushing out of her pore spaces and tears oozing out from those eyes that I once looked at with love but ever since that terrible nightmare that was actually palpable, ever since that night I saw them together, hugging, kissing and…, that night I discovered I only had foes as folks and
only wolves wishing me woe; that night was the night her face began to irritate me. I threw my face away as if nothing was kneeling in front of me, begging for another chance into my life and into my home. She held unto my legs every time she talked but like dust clinging to a black trouser, I brushed her hands off my legs without even looking at her. She would come at me again and I would do the same, again and again till she….

‘Look at me, please, I swear to you trust me, I have no….’

‘Trust you?!’ I bossed my voice over hers. ‘I can’t believe that just came out of your mouth.’ Speaking to her for the first time, I turned my head to her and moved a foot away. I dropped the hands I had folded and expressed my anger at what she had just said about trusting her, with my whole body, bending and twisting like a leaf been blown by a crazy wind.

‘You are telling me to trust you, and you led to my murder through your unfaithfulness. You tell me to trust you and you collided with my murderer, you tell me to trust you and you took the love I had always cherished for as far as I first fell in love with anyone which was you. You tell me to trust you and you went ahead to have an affair with my…. Don’t talk about trust. I trusted you with my whole heart and you took a knife and plunged it right in with your shameful act. I shouldn’t even be talking to you right….’

‘You put the whole blame on me even though you caused it all and brought this upon me!’ she butts into my words, making my mouth look as if it had a crash.

‘I agree that I have a very big fault in this but you have the part you played too.’

‘The part I played? Are you accusing me of murdering myself? There you go again with your….’

‘When you would leave me alone, crying helplessly at night, because my husband was not at home to show me love and care, all because he always spent his days and nights in the office for weeks.’

‘But we sorted that out and moreover that has nothing to do with this.’

‘It has everything to do with it, every bit of it. That was the source of all this. I would call you up but your voicemail would reply saying, ‘in a meeting’. You would come home in the weekend, only to spend time with your friends, except Sundays which we would go to church together. You think I am not human too?’

‘But we sorted this out together and came to a conclusion that….’

‘What conclusion, tell me, what conclusion that I should endure till you built your own firm, that I should endure till we acquire a better status, that I should endure still you get this and till we get that…. That was all we sorted out but you never put it in mind that, that was no salt to preserve our marriage. That that was no way to treat someone you loved, that that was no….’

‘I thought you understood. You told me it was okay.’

‘Yes, I did tell you that, but it wasn’t. No… not even for a day.’ Each day I would drive to my friends’ home, congratulating them of having new babies, and praying for them. But I was just there, with no child, with no prime, with no issue, with nothing that would have made me a woman; a proud mother’.

‘As my wife, you should have told me all this. How am I to know all this when you didn’t speak about it.’ My head was beginning to hurt, tears dropped from my eyes as she spoke with tears robbing her face off anything called smile. I felt guilty about all what she had complained about; I felt I somehow caused it.

‘How was I to know? ’, I continued, ‘when you should have called and told me all I did wrong.’ I added.

‘Were you ever at home? We never had much time to talk. And when I had no other person to talk to and help me call you to order than your best friend Tony: I went straight to him and explained everything to him. He promised to talk to you and he did and….’

‘Who did you say talked to me?’

‘Tony did.’

‘Tony never spoke a word to me about what you were going through.’

‘Yes, he did; he told me. He said you refused to care, saying your family life should be left alone. That was when he wooed me and assured me of his love; all those things you denied me. And out of desperation, I acceded to his request.’

‘Why then do you blame me, you had a choice to say no. I know I did you wrong, but that wrong later became no wrong when you decided to wrong it with another wrong. You befriended my best friend; did I just say best friend, I meant best enemy?

‘I had no choice.’

‘No, you did have a choice.’

‘What choice, tell me what choice!’

‘To call me and tell me all those issues, to call me and tell me that I had lost you, to call me and tell me my love was dead, to tell me I had lost a world to an enemy-friend but you chose to report the wound of an empire to an enemy king.’

‘Your love wasn’t dead, even after you died, I cried and cried over you, I even wanted to die but Father consoled me.’

‘Yes, I bet he did and that was why when I came back to life and also out of detention, you went straight to Tony’s arms and went ahead with your love affair; that showed me how much love was still in there for me. Trust that really showed how much you cared.’

She became silent; she turned her head to face the ground and began to sob continuously. I wiped away the remaining tears coming down my eyes. I had the feeling she didn’t plot to kill me, but she certainly did had a hand in it a great deal, all what she did against my trust, my heart and my….

‘You might be true about you not knowing of the conspiracy, but you surely have a hand in it.’

‘How?’ she asked. She looks at my face once again with that pitiable look. I felt sorry for her, I felt a speck of the love we once had in my heart, and wanted to…, but I….

‘You killed me with your deception. You lied you loved me, but you didn’t. You wanted me out of the way as Tony too had wanted.’

‘But…but….’

‘Now I know what Tony meant by what he said to me that day.’

‘What day…. That I loved you right?’ she said.

‘No, that, “you never know who has the third eye. He was right after all. Those who I believed to be my two eyes turned out to be the third eye. If not for God, I would be dead by now and I thank Him for busting out that third eye. You should be grateful that Tony didn’t bring you in, that he pledged your innocence and said you had no hand in it, if not, you would have been tagged to serve a life sentence along with your life partner. Hmm…Tony…, who could ever believe Tony could do such a thing: if someone approaches me and says Tony was arrested for murder? I would say no, not to talk of being arrested for my murder and for Simon’s and he wasn’t even okay with that, he wanted to send me to an innocent conviction. And you… of all…you…. Could betray me?’

I turned to the other side, towards where my car was parked. As I walked towards the car, I turned back and went back to her. I held her shoulder and raised her up.

‘I forgive you’ I said.

Her eye balls became widened as if an atomic bomb was thrown right in-between us. She made a loud sigh, I knew she couldn’t believe what she had heard, not from the same man who she cheated on with his best friend, who was almost sent to jail for an innocent crime by the same friend, if not for Barr Pete who got a warrant from court to search his house and the murder weapon was found in his wardrobe, he would have been in prison, but I actually said it and that made her to….

‘I don’t know you can ever forgive me, not after all I did to you.’ She said.

‘Why not? ’

‘After all I have done, you could still forgive me?’

‘Why would I suffer you any longer, when you already have a lot burden to bear?’

‘What burden?’

‘The guilt that with your own hands you destroyed the castle you have struggled to build for ages.’

After saying that to her face, I instantly turned my face away and walked a distance from her till I once again got to where my car was parked. I opened the door, started the engine then drove off. I never looked back, nor did I intend to do so, I didn’t want to see her anymore; at least that was what I had concluded in my mind before I eventually decided to look back after covering a little distance: I looked through the left-hand side mirror, to check her out, to see her face, to see her expression and her…. but I couldn’t; I wasn’t able see clearly, my eyes were virtually blurred, I took out my handkerchief, held the steering with my right hand then wiped off the tear drops that were hindering my vision. I looked again and this time with a clearer vision. But still I couldn’t see her, not even her shadow, even if had stuck my head out through the window, I wouldn’t still have seen her; her figure was finally gone; she was now far from sight. I looked forward to concentrate on my driving, but I couldn’t, the pain was too much for me to bear; I began to cry bitterly, as tear drops rolled down my cheek over and over again.

   THE END

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